Today’s Song: Almost Cut My Hair
Artist: Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young
Album: Déjà Vu
Today’s Quote: “Life is a sexually transmitted disease.” ~ R. D. Lang
It’s hard to believe it’s the end of September already. The year is officially 3/4 over with. Where in the hell did it go? I guess I’d better get off my ass if I’m going to accomplish anything this year.
I stumbled across this somewhere on the InterWeb so I can’t vouch for it’s validity or anything like that. I’m not even going to buy a rectal thermometer to confirm it. I’m just presenting it as something to think about.
When you have an “I Hate My Job” day, try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing, make yourself a cocktail and sit in your favorite chair.
Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement: “Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested”.
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, “I am so GLAD I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.”