October Twitter Detritus

More flotsam and jetsam from the shipwreck of my mind in 140 characters or less:

  • Got a crap load of things to do today. I hate moving and I’m not even the one moving.
  • One day is not enough time to move a household. Legs and shoulders are feeling the burn. Looking forward to a full night’s sleep.
  • Big, ugly bruises on upper arms and thighs. Glad the big stuff is mostly in place now.
  • Great yoga class. Good workout, feeling very relaxed and, strangely, hungry. Is there a connection?
  • Watched half of Secret Girlfriend on Comedy Central. Lame, totally lame. Adolescent humor at its most pathetic.
  • Dyed this afternoon and reportedly look 10 years younger. Don’t have to look like Mom.
  • SCAT in Springfield. I’ve got to get pictures and post them. It’s everywhere.
  • Just wondering. What’s with all the fishing shows on the Discovery Channel? What’s next? Baiting Bass with Bob?
  • Don’t bitch about the exorbitant extra fees the airlines are charging, just stop flying.
  • “Watch any game you want when you want.” I’m already doing that without DirecTV’s NFL Sunday Ticket. I’m watching all the games I want!
  • Had a dream this morning about the Duncan Donuts girl in San Angelo. What was her name? Gosh, that was such a long time ago.
  • The Duncan Donuts girl’s name was Grace. The name just suddenly popped into my head.
  • Morning comes too damned early in the morning.
  • Got something in the mail saying I’ve been “pre-forgiven.” Now I can sin with impunity.
  • Chicken for dinner this evening. She doesn’t eat her chicken naked but she doesn’t mind if I do.
  • Grease fires & exploding microwave ovens on Mythbusters. Definitely a do not try this at home episode. Cool to watch though.
  • Another good class and a lot of closeness. But so focused I hardly noticed. It’s like that sometimes.
  • Best simile heard this week – “like a white trash bar mitzvah” (The Jeff Dunham Show, 10/29/09). I’m trying to visualize it.
  • Learned a new word, PORMEDY. Porn + Comedy. It aptly describes a lot of the porn I’ve seen. Deep Throat and Captain Lust come to mind.
  • Remember, inspired by a true story doesn’t mean that it IS a true story.
  • I messed up. The Great Wall of China was not supposed to go. Apparently it had monetary value or something. I explicitly asked permission.
  • Soon I’ll have to turn out the lights and pretend I’m not home. Why should I contribute to tooth decay, obesity, and diabetes?
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Secret Girlfriend

The first half of Comedy Central’s new show, Secret Girlfriend was about all the stupidity I could handle for one evening. I was curious so I tuned in and I only suffered through the first half because of the train wreck effect; I was hoping to see something interesting. I didn’t. It’s just another poorly executed half-assed attempt at lame-ass frat boy humor from a network that doesn’t apparently know squat about “comedy” even though it’s in their name.

And speaking of lame, tonight’s new South Park episode was just that. I liked the premise of recently dead celebrities stuck in limbo being channeled through Ike but the execution fell apart about ten minutes into it. I think Trey Parker and Matt Stone are getting stale. The show has run its course.

I’m hoping the network didn’t have too much influence on The Jeff Dunham Show. He’s good, I’d hate to see a lame network bring him down.

Over already?

I see that the season finale of Comedy Central’s new show, Michael & Michael Have Issues is coming soon. It’s hard to believe that nearly the entire season has gone by and I have yet to see a single episode. What’s wrong with me? How could I have allowed that to happen?

Actually, it was quite easy. I have seen some of the promos and, frankly, I’ve been very unimpressed. And then there’s Comedy Central’s track record with “comedy” series (The Sarah Silverman Program, T-Bone and the Naked Trucker, Reno 911, the Comedy Central Roasts, and others). I’ve learned, often the hard way, not to expect much and I’ve rarely had my expectations exceeded.

Michael & Michael may very well have issues but I have issues of my own. I turn to a comedy network to find, well, comedy and it’s very disappointing to not find it where I would expect it. It’s sad when a comedy network doesn’t get comedy.

Mastication


Today’s Song: Pictures of Lily
Artist: The Who
Album: Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy
Year: 1967


Today’s Quote: “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.” — Mandy


I happened to see yesterday that Drawn Together will be returning to Comedy Central soon. I’m hoping that it will be as good as the previous seasons but I’ve seen Comedy Central screw up a great program before. I also see they are bringing back The Sarah Silverman Program. Haven’t we suffered enough? I think she has potential if she can wean herself from the Comedy Central teat. I’ve actually seen her be funny once. You’d think that a network calling themselves Comedy Central would know something about what’s funny.

There was a time when they had lots of funny and humorous programming but now it’s mostly asinine, pre-masticated pap for the hoi polloi. But the hoi polloi prefers everything homogenized and pre-masticated for them — their entertainment, their fashion, their morality, their patriotism, their culture, their education, you name it, it’s packaged for them.

Is there a logical reason why only the first season of Drawn Together is available on DVD? Where can I get the other seasons? And I’ve got to get the complete Coupling DVD set. I love that show, more with every episode. There is so much wisdom in that show and so many other elements you never see or hear in lame American television productions.


Yes, there was plenty of mastication this evening, probably too much of it. I feel a bit guilty about it now.

Review and a half

Eric Clapton – I Can’t Stand It

Today’s Quote: “If at first you don’t succeed, try taking a nap.” — Linus Van Pelt


I see that Reno 911: Miami will be coming to a theater near all of us soon. They must be getting desperate out there in Hollyweird. Reno 911 never should have been a television show, much less a movie. I think I’ll save eight bucks and stay home.


Last review of The Sarah Silverman Program
I tried to watch The Sarah Silverman Program last night. I really did. But after about five minutes, I just couldn’t take any more of it and switched over to The History Channel or something.

I really didn’t think it would have been possible for the show to be less funny than the premier episode but apparently she doesn’t know her limitations. I believe she has the talent and potential to be a fine comedian. Maybe she’s better suited for stand-up comedy and a sitcom just isn’t the right fit but Comedy Central made her an offer she couldn’t resist. If she can wean herself from the Comedy Central teat, she can go far. As for the Sarah Silverman Program, it sucks.


The Naked Trucker and T-Bones Show
I still haven’t seen it. All the trailers I’ve seen fail to bring me any expectation of being anything more than a Comedy Central hack comedy along the lines of Stella, Reno 911, and a host of others that failed to leave an indelible impression on me.

A few days ago I read an interview with Dave Allen and David Koechner (The Naked Trucker and T-Bones) that lead me to believe that it might actually be “intelligent” comedy or as close to it as Comedy Central gets. I had planned to watch it this last Wednesday evening I got distracted by something else (probably on the InterWeb). Maybe next week. I really want to see the show so I can make an honest appraisal and pass unbiased comedic judgment on it. But, as you all know, television has a rather low priority in my life, somewhere behind Internet porn.


AnotherTicketI Can’t Stand It by Eric Clapton. Album: Another Ticket (1981)

Rude, Crude, & Socially Unacceptable

Lee Michaels – Do You Know What I Mean?

Today’s Quote: “We’ve been swimming at nude beaches and I love to go skinny dipping, but I’m sorry, sitting on top of a mountain, that’s just, you’re trying to show off or something. That’s ridiculous.” — Andy Richter


Roscoe feels very depressed today. I feel his pain.


One of the cardinal rules of nudism is to always have a towel handy, either to sit on or to cover up should something arise. It seems that intergalactic hitchhikers and nudists have at least one thing in common. I see no reason why the two activities could not be combined.


After ten years, South Park still manages to be rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. The part where Cartman’s mom comes in with a bedpan was disgusting. I won’t describe it here. Catch the rebroadcast. By the way, Comedy Central’s new program, Freak Show is lame. The show’s producers apparently went to Comedy Central and sucked somebody’s cock to get it on the schedule. If you like Reno 911, Stella, and Dog Bites Man, you’ll probably like Freak Show.


Tonight begins the third season of Drawn Together. I’m hoping they can reach new lows of depravity and tastelessness this season. And why isn’t the second season out on DVD? I want to see it in all of its uncut and uncensored nastiness.

Is it Conde or Condo?

Paul Thorn – Where Was I?

Today’s Quote: “About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.” — Rita Mae Brown

I happened to catch a few minutes of Weekends at the DL on Comedy Central last night. He did an “In Search Of” bit where he went in search of a black woman with hair like Condeleeza Rice. One black woman at a beauty salon said she wasn’t even sure that Condeleeza was black. The closest he came to finding such a woman was Andy Ritcher in drag. That’s almost as scary as Condeleeza Rice. By the way, is her name spelled Condeleeza or Condoleeza? I’ve seen it both ways in the news.

This evening the History Channel had a couple of shows on the history of the American diet. They were followed by two shows on cannibals. Does this seem a strange coincidence to you? It seems odd to me.

I do hope the kids are okay and there were no adverse reactions.