Here’s a clue for you all…

Song: Jessie’s Girl
Artist: Rick Springfield
Album: Working Class Dog
Released: 1981

Today’s Quote: “There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut, Cold Turkey, In these Times, May 10, 2004

My birthday is coming up and in case anyone is in a quandary over what I might like, here you go…

DVD_Coupling DVD_DrawnTogether1 DVD_DrawnTogether2 DVD_DrawnTogether3

A Pocketful of Clues

Song: Any Major Dude Will Tell You
Artist: Steely Dan
Album: Pretzel Logic
Year: 1974

Today’s Quote: “Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.” ~ H. L. Mencken

Subject line seen in my spam report the other day: “Were you born not well hung?”
No, I was not born a freak. That came much later.

The wife and I spent some quality time together today, meaning we went shopping. It wasn’t really all that bad. We put a DVD/VCR combo on layaway to replace our current tape eating monster. I think our VCR has long exceeded its expected life expectancy. This new entertainment appliance will also replace the two DVD players residing underneath our television. The odds of either of them working correctly is about fifty-fifty. I can’t find the remote for one and sometimes the other just decides we need to see the four corners of the picture in different areas of the screen. With digital TV supposedly becoming the government mandated standard in 2009, I’m starting to toy with the idea of perhaps purchasing a wide-screen TV. Nothing serious yet but looking into it.

But the most important thing was that I came away with clues. Usually at this time of year, I’m in a clueless panic with her birthday and Christmas looming. But this year, I’ve got some ideas and the best part is that the gifts I’m considering are practical, inexpensive, and things she wants. It’s as close to a win-win situation as I’m likely to find. I even found some ideas for other gifts. I promise not to get Ben another Battleship game this year.

Has it really been 21 years since the McDonald’s Anniversary?

Today’s Quote: “Avoid being the cause of your spouse’s unhappiness.” — Dr. Willard F. Harley

I think it’s virtually impossible for a man to avoid being the cause of his wife’s unhappiness simply because he is a man. Half the time he’s not even aware that he has somehow made her unhappy. Then when it occurs to him that she is unhappy, she’s left it up to him to figure it out. It’s the old “You know what you did so I’m not going to tell you.” The problem is, he really doesn’t know. It’s not because he’s insensitive or he doesn’t care. He simply doesn’t have the keys to decrypt the messages she’s sending him. It would be so much easier if we spoke the same language or at least had the same keys to the code.

I don’t have any profound words of wisdom today. I’m just stumbling in the dark, blindly clawing my way through the foliage. I really don’t have a clue as to what I’m doing right or what I’m doing wrong. I’m just figuring it out as I go. What was correct yesterday may be wrong today.

No Subject

“As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.” — Hagar the Horrible

Last night on Comedy Central I watched The Sweetest Thing, a very funny movie. I’m not sure what the movie was about as I didn’t catch the beginning, but there were several scenes where I laughed my ass off. If you need to laugh, then I recommend it. Mark your calendars and set your VCRs for Saturday, 1 AM. Comedy Central is airing Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back — uncut, unedited, uncensored.

Happen to catch Blue Collar TV last night? The topic was food. There’s just something about gravy enemas and pre-chewed food that I find downright disturbing.

Nothing special going on. I still haven’t gotten around to the bathroom wall. I can’t afford a sheet of drywall and a small bucket of plaster anyway. I think I have enough paint left over from the living room so there’s an expense spared.

Was it coincidence that we both chose the same week to take some vacation time? If I had known, maybe we could have planned a little romantic getaway or something. Oh, well. Still need to start thinking about her birthday present. I think she wants a new cell phone plan. It’s so much simpler when she just drags me into a jewelry store, finds what she wants, and tells the clerk that I’ll be back. It’s always easier when I have a clue although not necessarily less expensive. There’s also her Christmas present to think about, but one thing at a time. Otherwise, my frail male brain will get overloaded and short circuit.

Your tax dollars at work — “Air Force report calls for $7.5M to study psychic teleportation.” Hey, it works on Star Trek.