Ever dance with the penguin in the pale moonlight?

Gimme Shelter – The Rolling Stones

Catchy subject line, isn’t it? Feel free to use it; I don’t mind because I lifted it from the subject line of an e-mail I received. I think it’s a paraphrasing of a line in the first Batman movie (Michael Keaton, not Adam West) where the Joker says to Batman, “Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?” I may not have it exactly right but I’m not going to watch the movie again just for that. I like the penguin version of it better.

Why is the last hour of the work day the longest? By four o’clock I’m totally drained of energy and all I really want to do is take a nap. For some reason, management seems to frown upon taking naps even though studies have shown naps increase productivity.

This evening I started going through my Harrison ancestry. It turns out that I had ancestors on the Mayflower. That is so cool. But there’s a bit of bad news. I’m distantly related to George Bush through the same line. I think I may also be related to Bush through my Warren ancestors. You can’t pick your ancestors, can you?

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Happy Half-Birthday to Me!

American Woman – The Guess Who

Well, I am 50 and a half today. Or, using Jacob’s calculations, 5 1/2 (since I’ll be six on my next birthday). To be precise, I am 100011011101011 days old.

Sometimes I wonder if other people celebrate half-birthdays. It seems perfectly logical, especially for people who have birthdays near Christmas. They always seem to be cheated out of their special day so why not celebrate at the halfway point? I also wonder if anybody else calculates their age in binary.

I found a couple more boxes of diskettes last night and found several disks containing my college assignments, including my English courses. All I need to do now is convert them from WordPerfect to Word so I can read them. I also found unencrypted copies of those text files I alluded to in the previous entry.

Here’s a shopping tip. When buying a piece of equipment, say a Cable/DSL router for instance, you should avoid packages without shrink wrap. You should be especially suspicious if the piece of gear in said package is not in a bag and the cables are not wire-tied. It just might be restocked DOA equipment. Just trust me on this, okay?

Genealogically, I’m ecstatic this evening. I got an e-mail from the wife of a second cousin twice removed on the Harrison branch, which confirmed my suspicions that I had found my 3rd great grandfather Franklin Harrison in Erie County, PA in the 1850 census. To to top it off, she sent me his ancestry a little later on. Another brick wall comes tumbling down! It looks like I’ll be updating my tree this weekend.

Columbus Day

Jack and Diane – John Mellencamp

“Oh yeah, life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin’ is gone.”
— John Mellencamp, Jack and Diane, American Fool

A minor wave of nostalgia swept over me last night. I read through Life as Lunch (sort of an anthology) and thought to myself, “Some of this is almost good.” I found some of my Wright State work from the remedial English class I had to take because in August 1993, I honestly couldn’t recall a day that ended too soon. I wonder where my work from English 101 and 102 is. I’m sure I have it on a disk somewhere. In those classes, I can only recall one moment of pseudo-brilliance — my essay on cartoons. I’d at least like to find that one.

I need to put my old DOS machine back together and find a place for it. That’s right, I said, “DOS.” You remember, the most stable operating system Microsoft ever produced. At least I need to find that encryption/decryption program I wrote for text files so I can make this file I have readable. Right now everything is shifted over 128 characters. At least I hope that’s the case.

Today is the day the federal government has set aside to honor Christopher Columbus, who opened up the New World to all the wonderful things it had been missing — exploitation, plundering, new diseases, and genocide on a massive scale. Thank you, Chris. We wouldn’t be where we are today if you hadn’t conned Queen Isabela into pawning the royal jewels to finance your trip.

Weekend Revisited

Song of the day: Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter – Herman’s Hermits

Well, yet another weekend is about to pass into oblivion. Did I accomplish anything? That depends on how you look at it, I suppose. I spent quality time with the grandchildren and that is always time well spent. I engaged in an act of genealogical kindness by looking up some information for a 77 year-old lady in Oklahoma City. She’s just getting started on finding her ancestors. That left me with a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. (No, it wasn’t a hairball!)

I downloaded a bunch of stuff to keep me entertained in my old age. That has to have some intrinsic value, right? And I’ve got some more queued up as I write this.

Since my mood is nostalgic, it occurs to me that Mrs. Brown did have a lovely daughter. Sometimes I wonder whatever became of her. She was my first true lust. Looking back, I realize that my feelings for her were mostly hormonal but to a horny teenager, it’s close enough to real love.

SEBMRS. BROWN YOU’VE GOT A LOVELY DAUGHTER
(Trevor Peacock)

Mrs. Brown you’ve got a lovely daughter
Girls as sharp as her are somethin’ rare
But it’s sad, she doesn’t love me now
She’s made it clear enough it ain’t no good to pine

She wants to return those things I bought her
Tell her she can keep them just the same
Things have changed, she doesn’t love me now
She’s made it clear enough it ain’t no good to pine

Walkin’ about, even in a crowd, well
You’ll pick her out, makes a bloke feel so proud

If she finds that I’ve been round to see you (round to see you)
Tell her that I’m well and feelin’ fine (feelin’ fine)
Don’t let on, don’t say she’s broke my heart
I’d go down on my knees but it’s no good to pine

Walkin’ about, even in a crowd, well
You’ll pick her out, makes a bloke feel so proud

If she finds that I’ve been round to see you (round to see you)
Tell her that I’m well and feelin’ fine (feelin’ fine)
Don’t let on, don’t say she’s broke my heart
I’d go down on my knees but it’s no good to pine

Mrs. Brown you’ve got a lovely daughter (lovely daughter)
Mrs. Brown you’ve got a lovely daughter (lovely daughter)
Mrs. Brown you’ve got a lovely daughter (lovely daughter)
Mrs. Brown you’ve got a lovely daughter (lovely daughter)

Madison, Ohio
(Rick Romig)

I think I’m going back to Madison, Ohio
And watch them roll up the sidewalks at nine.
Then I’ll go and sit inside Duffy’s Tavern
And get polluted until closing time.

I used to know a girl in Madison, Ohio.
I guess I loved her with all of my heart.
I may never know how she felt about me,
‘Cause I never figured out where to start.

I made love to that girl in Madison, Ohio
But I only seduced her while I dreamed.
She’ll never know how I wanted to touch her.
Love on a pedestal can’t be redeemed.

After a while we both left Madison, Ohio
And went on to seek our fortune and fame.
The last I heard she was happily married.
Not to me, although his first name’s the same

I guess I’m going back to Madison, Ohio
And watch them roll out the sidewalks at dawn.
Then I might sneak on over to her doorstep
And wait out back ’til her husband is gone.

(Lyrics for Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter used without permission. Lyrics for Madison, Ohio ©1978, Rick Romig)

Weekend Plans

Out of sheer boredom (as opposed to the more opaque variety), I figured out that, as of today, I am 100011011100110 days old. Or to put it another way, I’ve been breathing for 46E6 consecutive days. Pretty geeky, isn’t it?

What am I going to do this weekend? I’ve got absolutely no idea. Other than going to the Post Office Saturday morning and accomplishing my husbandly duties on Sunday evening, the intervening hours are totally unplanned. I guess I’ll either play it by ear or see what my higher authority wants me to do. There are plenty of things that I could do this weekend and it’s quite possible that I might get some of them done but I’m not making any definite plans. I’ll just have to improvise, I guess.

Today I saw something in a document I saw at the printer that made me say, “Huh?” I probably don’t really want to know but my curiosity demands it — Just what the hell is a DickWorld? It sounds like a gay theme park or something. Can somebody please make those perverse images go away? “Mommy, the man dressed like a giant phallus is scaring me!”

It’s been a long week. I think the stress is finally starting to have an effect on me.

Corrupted porn pics

In case you were wondering, Roscoe did honor my request the other night but one night’s respite was all he was willing to give me. Well, I have to admire his optimism and his persistence. He refuses to grow old although I’ve found his youthful exuberance and gung ho attitude to be quite annoying at times.

I saw this headline in one of my techinical newsletters today: Corrupted porn pics expose Microsoft hole. Maybe it’s just my perverted mind working overtime, but it sounds dirty to me. Oh, the images it conjures in my mind — all of them disturbing, of course.

Last night’s Blue Collar TV on Comedy Central had funerals as its theme. One skit showed a family after they got home from the mother-in-law’s funeral. The son-in-law (Jeff Foxworthy) had gone fishing before the funeral and was still wearing his waders, vest, and fishing hat. The father-in-law (Larry the Cable Guy) was pissed because he wasn’t invited to go fishing. The wife’s brother (Bill Engvall) had shown up at the funeral with a stripper. Does this sort of sound familiar, Mandy? (Note to self: I’m going to have to start taping these shows!)