Of all the things I’ve lost … I miss my mind the most.

“I’ve got blisters on me fingers!”
— John Lennon at the end of Helter Skelter

Here’s today’s quote: “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” — Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

I’ve discovered the identity of the mysterious “Ohio call” that rings several times every evening and weekend. It’s the Dayton Daily News that has been calling repeatedly for quite some time without ever leaving a message. If my potential business isn’t worth leaving a message then screw ’em. If they have some sort of automated calling system, then that’s their problem. What are they trying to do, annoy me into submission or subscription? It’s about the same thing, isn’t it?

What have I done to piss off the plumbing gods? Don’t I leave them suitable sacrifices? Every now and then a large puddle of di-hyrdrogen monoxide would appear on my bathroom floor. There is no sign of leakage around the bathroom fixtures and it appears to originate from the wall that’s behind the kitchen sink. There doesn’t seem to be any sign of leakage under the kitchen sink either. The mysterious appearance of water wasn’t a regular occurrence until today. When it happened today, Tina said she heard a dripping sound in the kitchen and now it’s every time water goes down the kitchen drain. Might there be a leaky pipe inside the wall? Do I even want to consider what fixing that might entail? I can assure you, dear reader, of one thing — I really don’t want to contemplate tearing out any walls, but if I must …

The new season of South Park started tonight. Tonight Stan learned that in most elections it comes down to choosing between a douche and a turd. But which is the douche and which is the turd?

The voices are talking to me again. They want me to do things I know I shouldn’t do. I must not give in to the Dark Side.


The Best Laid Plans

Call me insane but I am once again attempting to plan activities for Saturday. For one thing, it will be Pearl Harbor Day, Hiroshima, and Nagasaki for the fleas. It has been ordained by the highest authority; therefore, it will take place. The maple tree needs to be trimmed and those ugly bushes need to be removed while the yard waste disposal facility is still open. Why pay to dump it when I can dump it for free? I have about a dozen old computer cases, assorted paint cans, and some other junk out back that needs to be disposed of. I’m sure that there will be other tasks yet to be determined.

As it’s my destiny to have my plans thwarted, I’m sure something will come up. The weather forecast shows rain for Saturday, which could interfere with my pruning activities. But it shouldn’t affect the bombing; we may just have to go somewhere to escape the agonized cries of a million fleas dying.