It’s been quite a while since I checked in here. The holidays were good. I brought in the new year with a group of friends but I missed bringing it in with family.
I’ve been having mixed success with my goals and intentions for the new year but I guess that’s to be expected. I’m trying to get back into my yoga practice and other physical exercise. So far, the exercise is going better than the yoga but I’m determined to make a go of it. My meditation practice slipped a bit during the holidays too but I was getting back in the groove on that. Actually, going back to work has thrown it all into disarray.
I’m sure that getting back into the habit of these practices will help with lucid dreams by helping me find the mindset and energy to foster my dreams. I hope so because I’ve been in kind of a dream slump lately. Recently I recalled two dreams in one night and one morning I recalled bits of what might have been three dreams. Lately I’ve noticed that sometimes when I wake from a dream and before I open my eyes, I’ll try to replay the dream in my mind to commit it to memory before I write it down. What often happens is that random and obscure waking life memories will intrude upon the dream memories and soon I’m unable to tell them apart. All I’ll be left with is a vague idea of what the dream was about.
The biggest change for me so far this year has been employment. I’ve been retired for almost two years so I haven’t been looking for a job. Last week I was contacted by my supervisor with the company I was previously with. They’re starting up a new project in the area and he was reaching out to the old crew to see if there was any interest. They’re on board with me working part-time though I said I could work full-time for a while to get the project off the ground. Since they’ve already paid out my employee stock option, I’d have to pay it back if I went back as a full-time employee. I don’t want to do that.
Now that I’m two weeks into the project I’m starting to have a few reservations. Going back to work after 20 months or so of retirement has been a big adjustment. I had enjoyed quite a bit of freedom to do whatever I want and I’m giving up a lot of that, at least temporarily. I’m still adjusting to getting up in the morning and commuting. However, one thing is different from other jobs. I’m working because I want to, not because I need to, and that’s a big difference. If I decide that that I don’t want to do it any longer I can quit with relatively few repercussions.
Since I had documented my processes during the previous project, my team lead wants me to do the same for this project. It’s not as easy as it would appear. Before I’d documented the processes I’d been doing and refining over several years. This time I’m trying to write the processes from scratch as we are developing them. That takes a different strategy and it’s harder to visualize.
“You can only come to the morning through the shadows.” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien
“Here in your mind you have complete privacy. Here there’s no difference between what is and what could be.” ~ Chuck Palahniuk
The ancestor of every action is a thought.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, Spiritual Laws
“We can never see past the choices we don’t understand.” – The Oracle, The Matrix Reloaded
“Only by learning to live in harmony with your contradictions can you keep it all afloat.” ~ Audre Lorde