It was nine years ago today that my beloved mother left her body. She left it reluctantly, fighting the transition to the end. From what my sister has told me, she may have finally accepted the inevitable and found peace in her final moments. I like to believe that she did.
In the couple of weeks I was there before her passing, I witnessed her incredible strength and determination to stay with us. Family was extremely important to her and in the years since her passing I have come to a greater appreciation of the depth of her contributions and sacrifices to raise her family and to support all of us long after we left the nest. Although she’s not with us physically, she lives in our memories and in our hearts. I can only relate my own experiences but I sometimes feel her spiritual presence.
For several years I was troubled that I was not with her at the time of her passing. I had always felt a very deep bond with my mother and it seemed like I still had some unfinished business with her. I also felt there was a lack of closure. About three years later, there began a series of events spread over several more years through which she led me through my grieving, assuaged my feelings of guilt, and affirmed her unconditional love.
I never say that she’s in Heaven or anywhere else. Personally, I don’t accept the Christian concepts of Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. I find them spiritually limiting and based upon an abstract system of rewards and punishment. I’m more attracted to Eastern ideas of karma and rebirth which, to me, seem more logical and more rational. The idea that she may have taken on a new birth is comforting. Her spirit, which is not bound by the limitations of the physical universe, has spoken to me at times when my mind has been quiet enough to hear her.
None of above reflects a belief in anything, only ideas and possibilities. I can only relate my own experiences or what I think I’ve experienced. Just the same, I’ve pondered ideas and concepts regarding the spiritual realm. I borrow from many disciplines which include Eastern philosophies and quantum mechanics.