This is a topic I’ve written on before in my journals and my blogs but it has recently entered my mind and prompted some thoughts about it. My thoughts here may or may not agree with what I’ve said or written previously.
In our lives secrets are inevitable as are the suffering they may cause. The secrets we carry invariably have the potential harm to the keeper of the secret as well as those from whom the secrets are kept. Our secrets are an emotional burden we carry and we have to continually evaluate them to balance our desire for truthfulness and honesty with the avoidance that the revelation of the secrets may cause. How we carry out this evaluation is very subjective and can be quite prone to errors in judgement. Making the wrong decision about whether or not to reveal it can have unintended and disastrous consequences.
In my estimation, it seems that truthfulness, honesty, and transparency in our dealings with others is the preferred approach. However, this may not always be possible depending on circumstances. We sometimes have to decide between being truthful and not causing harm and when we are dealing with other human beings we cannot always be able to gauge their emotional state or their reactions.
I openly admit that I carry the burden of my secrets, many dating back to a time when I lived in a culture of secrecy that too often extended into my personal life. Other secrets are more recent but still under the influence of that culture. Yes, those secrets are a tremendous burden and the memories surface with greater regularity than I’d like. When the memories arise, I evaluate them and generally bury them again. They are in the past, I’ve learned from them, and I don’t see a lot of potential good in bringing them into the light. They’re my burden and there is no point in making them someone else’s burden. If my life is an open book then some of the chapters have been torn out or had the pages stuck together. If asked, my response is likely to be that the subject is not open to discussion. It’s my karma and I’ll deal with the consequences.