A Fifth of Pizza

Song: A Fifth Of Beethoven
Artist: Walter Murphy & The Big Apple Band
Album: Saturday Night Fever
Released: 1976
Note: I only used this song because of its somewhat tenuous relation to the post’s title. This was a disco hit and there is no way I can possibly endorse it as music you should listen to.

Today’s Quote: “The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.” ~ Willem de Kooning

This evening we had a Tombstone Original Supreme pizza. As it baked, I took a look at the nutritional information because I’m watching what I eat these days, especially the carbs. One serving was 31 grams of carbohydrates which I thought was a bit high for a slice of frozen pizza Then I looked at the serving size and read that their slice was 1/5 of the pizza.

Who slices a pizza into fifths? My mind isn’t up to the challenge of figuring out the geometry to slice a pizza into five equal slices. I’m doing good to successively cut it in half to get a normal distribution of eight quasi-equal slices.

For those who care, I did the math and determined that their 1/5 pizza serving is equal to 1.6 normal servings (1/8 pizza) and that a normal serving would be about 19.3 grams of carbohydrates. Incidentally, my slices were nowhere near evenly sized and because I really like supreme pizza, I had more carbs than I should have. I made no attempt to figure out how many.

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

‘I don’t want to know,’ the child said, bursting into tears. ‘Promise me you won’t tell me.’

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, ‘When I was six, I got the ‘There’s no Easter Bunny’ speech. At seven, I got the ‘There’s no Tooth Fairy’ speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the ‘There’s no Santa’ speech. If you’re going to tell me that grown-ups don’t really get laid, I’ll have nothing left to live for.’


Author: Rick

I'm a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe.