Today’s Quote: “Prosperity and peace are in the balance.” ~ President Bush, urging Republican unity in November.
He’s right. Republicans should unify in November and vote for the Democratic ticket, whoever it is.
Song: Brown-Eyed Girl
Artist: Van Morrison
Album: Blowin’ Your Mind
Here’s an article from the February 6, 2008 edition of the Huber Heights Courier. This paper is such a fine representation of journalist excellence. (They need an editor with a reasonable grasp of the English language.) God is blamed for fire is an good example.
Actually, I don’t take issue with the article itself. Arson is a terrible crime and the alleged arsonist may have some serious mental problems. However, it’s the headline in conjunction with the photo caption that caught my attention. It’s just a little bit misleading. The caption states that arson was the cause of the fire and the headline says God is blamed for it. My first thought was “Is God an arsonist? How are they going to execute a warrant on God and bring Him to trial?” I was also thinking that it would be interesting to be on that jury.
Generally, if God or my pets are telling me to do bad things, I stop for a moment and say, “Now hold on a minute. Are you absolutely sure?” If it’s my pets telling me to do evil, then I say, “Bad Kitty! No treats for you.”
1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of it.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. This is good!
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
10. Ahhh … I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
16. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
17. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
18. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
19. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of karma to burn off.
20. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
21. Do I look like a people person?
22. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
23. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
24. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
25. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
26. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
27. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door number one?
28. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
29. Chaos, panic and disorder — my work here is done.
30. How do I set a laser printer to stun?