Air Should Be Free

Today’s Song: Eli’s Coming
Artist: Three Dog Night
Album: Suitable for Framing
Year: 1969
Notes: Written by Laura Nyro.

Today’s Quote: “I think … therefore, I am NOT a Republican.” ~ unknown

I refuse to pay for air. There is something inherently wrong with the concept. Air was free at gas stations all over the country for about a century then some marketing genius said, “Hey, people need to put air in their tires. Let’s put a coin slot on the air pumps and charge them for something that is essentially free.” The idea was pitched to the oil companies and they were all like, “Brilliant! Now we can take even more of the American consumers’ hard earned money. We already gouge them for fuel and we criminally overcharge them for items in our convenience stores. Charging them for air is pure genius.” And you know there is somebody in the Bush administration working out a way to tax the air we breathe.

To be fair, Speedway does have signs on their air pumps telling the poor consumer that he can request free air from the cashier. So if all you want is to bring your tires up to proper inflation and you don’t want to pay for it, you have to go inside the inconvenient store of Speedway, stand in line behind folks buying beer, cigarettes, and over-priced Doritos, just so you can ask the cashier (who is probably incredibly eager to serve you and take care of your non-purchase) for some free air. If you’re willing to put up with the inconvenience, here’s what you should say to the smiling and cheerful Speedway employee behind the counter:

“I’d like some free air please. And if you don’t mind me asking, what’s the difference between the free air and the air I’d otherwise be paying for?”

And while your in there, please fill out a customer comment card and inform the manager what you thing of the idea of charging for air. When you get home, write a letter or send an email to their corporate headquarters.


Author: Rick

I'm a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe.