Beware of Billy Bob Dracula

Today’s Quote: “My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all.” — Stephen Hawking

Here’s an interesting headline I saw on the front page of the World Weekly News:

Redneck Vampire Attacks Trailer Park
Like duh, where else would a redneck vampire look for victims? Well, I guess there’s always a WalMart Super Center, back in the automotive department. I’ve been trying to visualize a redneck vampire. He’d be wearing a Budweiser ball cap atop his mullet and he’d have only one fang. He’d probably wear a dirty white “wife-beater” T-shirt and dirty jeans stained with motor oil. Instead of residing in a scary old mountaintop castle, he’d be found in an old beaten double-wide trailer at the top of a hill. His coffin would be up on blocks.

Strippers, opponents lobby state lawmakers
Don’t the ass mongers in our state legislature have more important problems to deal with? They’re trying to pass a bill that would create a “six-foot rule” for nude and semi-nude dancers in strip clubs. The wording is such that the law would still apply even if the dancer later put on a burka after she finished her performance. She would not even be allowed within six feet of her husband. The law is suppose to restrict criminal activity. What, are there drug deals going down within six feet of strippers? This bit of legislative insanity was proposed by Citizens for Community Values, a Cincinnati-area group of self-righteous busybodies whose moral indignation seems to be the only thing that gives their lives purpose. Although you’re not very bloody likely to find me in a strip club, I’m against enacting stupid laws.

While grocery shopping today, I came across “microwave ready potatoes.” These potatoes were individually wrapped in plastic wrap and the label informed me that this spud had been washed four times. I guess regular potatoes aren’t microwave ready because you have to wash them yourself. I also found pre-fried bacon. You just put a few strips on a plate and nuke to the desired degree of crispness. That kind of makes sense when all you want is enough for a BLT or something. You don’t have to deal with the grease.

May 2nd is National Breastfeeding Day in the Philippines and they’ll be trying to set the Guinness World of Record for Simultaneous Breastfeeding. If a conservative, predominantly Catholic country like the Philippines doesn’t have a problem with public breastfeeding, then what is our problem in this country. Too many people with their heads up their assess, I guess.

Song: Dirty White Boy
Artist: Foreigner
Album: Headgames


Author: Rick

I'm a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe.

2 thoughts on “Beware of Billy Bob Dracula”

  1. I actually buy the microwave potatoes when they’re on sale because they’re much larger than the bagged ones, and are big enough to be a nice lunch all on their own. Since I am the only one who eats them, they’re less likely to sprout eyes and spy on the carrots if I buy them as singles.


    1. This was an itty bitty tater, not even as big as my fist. I wouldn’t have been able to make a meal of it.
      You mean potatoes only engage in voyeuristic activities when they’re in packs? Interesting.
      You never know what those carrots might be up to; they’re orange.


Comments are closed.