Gerry Rafferty – Right Down The Line

Today’s Quote: “What in heaven’s name is strange about a grandmother dancing nude? I’ll bet lots of grandmothers do it.” — Sally Rand

Thank God this week is over. At least I think it’s over. Either way, today should be more relaxing than the five days immediately preceding it. So far, I’m not very impressed with this new year; 2007 has pretty much sucked donkey.

It really bothered me that I missed my Wednesday evening quality time with the grandchildren, especially when all four of them were left on my doorstep. I missed Nick crawling on my floor. I’m sorry, Mr. Bossman, you can convince me to work late any night but Wednesday. I have a standing engagement that night.

I’m hoping this past week hasn’t been a major setback in my “Look Good Nekkid” program. I was unable to do my lunchtime work out everyday but Monday. That really sucks. Will I have the discipline to make up for it over the weekend? To be quite honest, I doubt it. But you never know; it could happen. (And monkeys might fly out my butt!)

Useless Facts

  1. Most American car horns honk in the key of F.
  2. The name Wendy was made up for the book “Peter Pan.”
  3. Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
  4. Every time you lick a stamp, you consume 1/10 of a calorie. (Ever lick a self-adhesive stamp?)
  5. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. (I guess it just seems longer.)
  6. Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.
  7. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
  8. The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; ‘7’ was selected after the original 7-ounce containers and ‘UP’ for the direction of the bubbles.
  9. 101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, and Mulan are the only Disney cartoons where both parents are present and don’t die throughout the movie.
  10. A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
  11. ‘Stewardesses’ is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand. (Not only that, but it’s politically incorrect.)
  12. To escape the grip of a crocodile’s jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs – it will let you go instantly. (Assuming you have the presence of mind…)
  13. Reindeer like to eat bananas.
  14. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple.
  15. The word “samba” means “to rub navels together.” (Linux and Windows rubbing navels? Sounds kinky.)
  16. Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
  17. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (Probably had one in his office)
  18. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II Killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
  19. More people are killed annually by donkeys than airplane crashes.
  20. A ‘jiffy’ is a unit of time for 1/100th of a second. (Then Jiffy Pop popcorn is a misnomer.)

City_NightsHot Child in the City by Nick Gilder, City Nights (1978)


Author: Rick

I'm a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe.