Pat Paulsen should run again

Alice Cooper – Elected

Today’s Quote: “The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” — Joe Ancis

I got a card from my local Bored of Erections Board of Elections the other day about the upcoming election in November. They wanted to reminded that I needed to bring a valid picture ID with me to the polling place. In their list of acceptable forms of ID was “military ID with name and current address on it.” In the 33 years I’ve been carrying a military identification card, not once have they put my address on it. Am I going to have to make a trip to the Personnel Office to demand a card with my address? Of course, I would have to check their web site to see when their hours are. Oh, wait a minute, I have to connect to their web site from a .mil domain. I guess I should have registered my domain as

Dirty Magazines
Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine husband called home to tell me he would be late – again. He went on to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in the platoon’s quarters and they had to police the area. I launched into a tirade, arguing that many men had pictures hanging in their quarters at our previous post, so his new platoon should not be penalized for something trivial. My husband calmly listened to my gripes and then explained, “Kathy, Dirty Magazines: the clips from their rifles had not been properly cleaned.” (A dirty magazine could cause your gun to misfire.)

This is bad
During World War II, a mechanic was making a routine test flight with a bomber that accidentally drifted off course and over enemy territory. The plane was shot down and the mechanic taken prisoner. Not knowing his area of expertise, the prison camp leader placed him in charge of the chickens. Every day he would collect scraps of metal and wood and, eventually, he constructed an engine and a pair of wings. One morning when the officers called roll they found he had attached the wings and engine to the chicken shed and had flown the coop. (Groan!)

This is bad but I love it
Eva Peron hired a couple of American chefs, Tina Smith and Marge Jones, known well for their American southern cuisine, fried chicken, chicken fried steak, etc. After several months of their employment, Eva noticed that her clothing wasn’t fitting as well as it once did. She went to her doctor, who told her that it was all of the deep-fried food she had been consuming, and that she’d gained 20 pounds. Furious, she went back to her mansion, strode in to the kitchen, and burst out singing: “Don’t fry for me, Marge and Tina.”


Author: Rick

I'm a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe.

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