Who knocked up the mannequin?

Robert Johnson – Stop Breakin’ Down Blues

I ran across this Washington Post article about Noelle, a life-sized, pregnant, mannequin being used to simulate deliveries, train medical students and eliminate preventable birthing errors.

“She can be programmed for a variety of complications and for cervix dilation. She can labor for hours and produce a breach baby or unexpectedly give birth in a matter of minutes,” writes the AP.

And you thought your labor was fun!

Noelle, who can emit pulse rates, urinate, bleed and breathe, delivers a plastic doll “that can change colors, from a healthy pink glow to the deadly blue of oxygen deficiency. The baby mannequin is wired to flash vital signs when hooked up to monitors.”

Picture and product information
The manual contains useful tips such as “Remember to lubricate the inside of the vulva” and “One way of not losing the plug is to insert it into the rectum.” I’m sure that if you insert anything into the rectum, you know where it is. (Of course, these were taken out of context but they’re funnier out of context.)

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Author: Rick

I'm a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe.