Talk To The Penis

There has been an animated commercial on TV that begins by saying that x percent of men have diabetes, y percent have high blood pressure, and z percent have high cholesterol, then announces that the one thing they may have in common is that “their love life may not be what it used to be.” My reaction had always been, “So what? Nobody’s love life is what it used to be.”

Then last night its subliminal message finally occurred to me. The message is not telling men that they need to take care of their health and that they should be aware of the risks posed by diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. But rather than saying these things could lead to heart disease and possibly death, they imply that if we have these conditions and don’t take care of them, we could become impotent or suffer from erectile dysfunction.

A light bulb went off in my head. What a great way to reach men and motivate them. Don’t try to convince them they should change their lifestyle because it might be dangerous to their health. It doesn’t work because the male ego thrives on danger and realizes that death could be just around the corner. Instead, appeal to them with something that’s meaningful to them on a personal level, their penis.

Let’s face it, men fear impotency more than death. Staring death in the face is no big deal but to be with a woman and not be able to perform, that’s devastating. Want men to quit smoking? Find a link between smoking and impotency and they’ll give it up cold turkey. If lung cancer doesn’t scare him, erectile dysfunction will.

Speaking of men’s health, I got a nice card from my friendly neighborhood health care facility wishing me a happy birthday and cordially inviting me to celebrate by stopping by and having one of their fine doctors stick a finger up my ass. Well, wasn’t that nice of them? (My ass fingering appointment is on the 10th.)

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Author: Rick

I'm a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe.