“I think science has always been under assault to some extent. I think there are fashions in cycles in which science is attacked for a period of time and is embraced for a period of time and it’s attacked again. Generally attack against science is part of a greater attack against intellectualism in general. I think right now we’re in an anti-intellectual period in the United States, but I think the pendulum will swing back in the other direction again.” — Physicist, novelist, and science writer Alan Lightman, in an interview with LiveScience
You should pray thusly…
Prayer for Guidance and Protection
We beseech you, the great and powerful leaders of our government and our churches to tell us what truth we must believe today and to help us see the light, in whatever color you deem it to be. We, the huddled masses, are blind and need your divinely inspired guidance. We seek your knowledge and wisdom because we are not smart enough to find the truth ourselves. Science and intellect cannot be trusted for they lead us away from the true path and into the unforgivable heresy of liberalism. Keep us safe from those would do us evil — terrorists, homosexuals, nudists, scientists, liberals, and all others who do not share your world vision. Enlighten us, oh great leaders, so that we may lie down and offer ourselves as a sacrifice to whatever God you believe in. Your God is our God; there shall be no other. Amen
The New Beatitudes
Blessed are the entertainers, for their great works and their personal lives shall take our minds off the real problems that would otherwise trouble us.
Blessed are the professional athletes, for we can take great pride in their achievements and glory rather than get off our asses and play the game ourselves.
Blessed are the oil barons and the industrialists, for their greed shall make for us a simpler life though that life be in darkness and cold.
Blessed are the pop psychologists, for they help us fix the blame for our shortcomings on others so we can have self-esteem without accomplishment or responsibility.
Blessed are the advertisers, for they enable us to acquire self-esteem through gluttony and mass consumption.
Blessed are the televangelists, for they bring us closer to Heaven though they cannot hope to get there themselves.
Blessed are political appointees, for they, although unqualified for their positions, have found favor with the Great One and bring his truth to the bureaucracies.
Blessed are the bureaucracies, for without them, government services could not possibly function so inefficiently.
Blessed are the school boards, for they dumb down our children and make them dependent on the bureaucracies.
Blessed are the lawyers, for they offer us litigation in place of common sense and bring us the promise of great rewards for our own stupidity.
Blessed are the fast food and tobacco companies, for they shall take the blame for our sloth and ignorance, rewarding us handsomely for being so lazy and stupid.
Blessed are the technologists, for they shall take many good ideas and cram them into a single device, thus making that device utterly useless.