Gimme That Old Time Religion

Lightnin’ Hopkins – Just Sittin’ Down Thinkin’

Today’s Quote: “Nothing is so firmly believed as that which is least known” — Montaigne

“I will NEVER EVER DO THIS EVER AGAIN and I am once more terribly sorry. Please let me go for I am terribly sorry!!! I’m only a kid! Help me out. I just want to go home. I did this not knowing of the serious penalty that lies behind it. Please! Please! Please! I am extremely sad now, and I just want to go to bed. Please let me sleep in my own bed tonight.” — 19-year-old Jonathan Baldino pleads for clemency after being busted for purchasing a $150 iPod with a “Barcode Magic”-created bar-code label for $4.99.

When I read that, I had to check his age again. He sounded like a 9-year-old, not 19. Sorry, dude, but at 19, you’re expected to know right from wrong. Maybe he wasn’t expecting the Class 5 felony, but he knew he was stealing. He’s facing a felony count of forgery and two misdemeanor counts of theft. Hopefully, he’s learned from this experience, like never steal from the same store twice. No, wait, that’s not right. Forget I said that.

Simson01_WEBHere’s an interesting news article Mandy sent me, Erotic moments from Bible…, A German Protestant youth group put together a 2006 calendar with 12 staged photos depicting erotic scenes from the Bible, including a bare-breasted Delilah cutting Samson’s hair and a nude Eve offering an apple. The calendar is 15.50 Euros (whatever that is in U.S. dollars). I wonder if the calendar will be available in Puritan America. I’d love to have it on my wall.

Why should the idea of Biblical nudity be controversial? It should be rather obvious that Eve was naked when she offered Adam the apple. “They were naked and unashamed.” The concept of shame didn’t occur to them until they had both taken a bite and, with the limited bit of knowledge they had gained, began to make moral judgments. They had gained knowledge, not wisdom. The former does not imply the latter.

Why wouldn’t Delilah have been naked when she gave Samson that infamous haircut? They had been sleeping together. I rather doubt they discretely slipped into their pajamas and slept in separate beds ala Ozzie and Harriet. I’m sure the other ten scenes depicted in this calendar are just as plausible.

The title of the news article was a misnomer. “Erotic moments” is misleading, a result of cultural bias. Nudity isn’t necessarily eroticism or even sexual. But we live in Puritan America where the mere sight of an exposed nipple can have catastrophic effects on the very moral fiber of the nation. A glimpse of actual pudenda could bring about the downfall of civilization or even the Apocalypse.

I didn’t read the discussions about the story since I don’t believe there is actually intelligent discussion in such forums. A quick perusal of some of the subject lines seems to indicate that I’m right about not reading them. The perceived anonymity of the Internet tends to encourage people to be flaming assholes, more so than in a face-to-face discussion where they might actually have to think about what they’re saying or face the consequences of their words. Those are waters I’d just as soon not tread.

The other night I learned they make pads for thongs. I’m astounded and dumbfounded. Maybe it’s because I’m a guy and I’m not supposed to “get” girl things? I don’t really get thongs either.


Author: Rick

I'm a simple man, trying to make my way in the universe.

2 thoughts on “Gimme That Old Time Religion”

  1. It turns that the title of the calendar is “Erotische Bilder aus der Bibel” (Erotic pictures from the Bible). I don’t know that I’d call the pictures I’ve seen from it erotic. Let’s say it doesn’t fit my definition of erotic.


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