Humble Pie – Thirty Days in the Hole
Things that pegged my Stupidity Meter today:
I heard something on the news this morning that just sent my stupidity meter into the red. Two teenagers are suing McDonald’s for not disclosing something about their food that supposedly made them obese. Give me a break here! Kids, there is no secret ingredient in McNuggets, Big Macs, or anything else on McDonald’s menu that triggers obesity. What made you obese was voluntarily going into their establishments, voluntarily giving the clerk your order, voluntarily forking over your Daddy’s hard earned money, then voluntarily stuffing your face. You became obese because, apparently, you did this many, many times.
No Mickey D secret agents abducted you, put a gun to your head, and forced you to consume mass quantities of fattening food. You could have gone someplace else and gotten a freakin’ salad. Don’t blame Ray Kroc because your ass is too fat to get out of your McSeat. I’m sorry, but unless you have some freaking disease or glandular condition that made you obese, you have no one to blame but yourself if your ass is too fat.
Odds are though that these kids have a tiger on their side and will probably win a big, fat settlement, which they will probably spend at McDonalds and similar fast food establishments and make themselves even fatter. Got some more news for ya, a fat settlement won’t make your fat ass any smaller.
More ranting about personal responsibility can be found here.
Education Secretary Condemns PBS Show With Gay Character and PBS caves. Heaven forbid that our children should even know that gay people exist. I hereby retract my statement about PBS having integrity. They are as spineless and testicularly challenged as every other network. Oh, Lord, let’s not offend anyone. But then again Education Secretary Margaret Spellings is a new Bush appointee, so what could you expect? Maybe if we pretend there are no gay people, they’ll go back to wherever they came from. Isn’t there, like, a gay country somewhere, ya know, like Gayberia.
Children Charged With Felonies Over Violent Drawings. Zealots zealously enforce zero tolerance. Come on, they were stick figures. Yeah, let’s send them to Juvie where they can learn to how to be real felons. Hell, they’d have loved the doodles in my notes from school. I had no idea that I was committing felonies back at Hale Road Elementary and J.R. Williams Junior High.
Does this picture
make me a felon?
Restrictions On Cold Medicines Pondered Amid Meth Epidemic. “You don’t have a runny nose, so you must be running a meth lab.” Why don’t the arse-mongering bumble-fucks in Washington try dealing with some real problems like the war and the deficit.
Company Fires All Employees Who Smoke. Before you know it, you won’t even be allowed to wank when you’re off the clock. I understand trying to keep health insurance costs down but that’s just a bit Fascist. Do you mind if I go bungie jumping or handle rattlesnakes on my own time?
Crap that didn’t set off any alarms but piqued my interest:
- Haiku for your enjoyment.
- It’s probably fake but it looks so cool.
- Now you can get a cell phone for your dog. Watch those “roaming” charges. (rated 3.2 on the meter)